They Feel It

I just returned home after a lovely trip to Sicily, Italy, with my husband, Tom, and another couple who are great friends.

We had lots of adventures and, of course, the kind of fun you have on vacation when you’re in the moment and doing nothing but looking for fun and the next adventure.

But during our trip, two sad events happened, both about the loss of a child.

The shock we all feel when that happens is always jarring, but this time, in addition to that initial sad disbelief, I felt a couple of other emotions I want to share with you.

The first is the realization that life is so short and that every day—even and maybe most significantly—the non-vacation days—are meant to be treasured.

That statement is said with zero intention of being trite. It’s just so true. We ideally express genuine caring to those we love every day, perhaps many times a day.

The second was remembering the vast, all-encompassing love the horse world (and the horses) shared with my husband and me after our son, Zane, passed on to a heavenly life.

No matter where I was, it was perceptible to me at the time – the prayers, the texts, the cards, the everything.

We were totally immersed and surrounded by a community of people who walked through the darkness with us. We were never alone.

As I thought about that and read the parents’ comments for these children, I knew they felt that, too.

I now understand how much every prayer means for someone else or another family, even though that person may never know that prayer occurred. All prayers, thoughts, and well-wishes matter—and they ideally keep on coming for a long time.

So, during this Memorial Day season, l am grateful for my ever-so-loving, horsey family of people and animals who I know shower those going through hard times with love and let them know they never walk alone.

I’m also grateful to those who gave their lives, so freedom rings for us all.

Never forget how much your expressions of care matter—every one of them. When combined with others, they take on a life of their own, and the recipient is amazed and nurtured by them.

Let me know what you think; leave a comment for me.

I send my caring from my house to you and yours – two and four-legged souls.

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Comments

19 Comments on They Feel It

  1. Carol MacGregor on Sun, 26th May 2024 1:49 pm

    2. Hi Barb, I’m so glad that you are enjoying a much deserved vacation with Tom and close friends. Thank you for taking time to be in touch with us on this Sunday. As I get older, each day–Ha Ha–I do realize how important each day is, and I want to enjoy the day even amidst a lot to do–just like everyone else. The loss of a child must run so deep that few of us can imagine how painful that experience is. Being reminded of how we can help others with our heartfelt prayers, cards and notes, or a meal to help out, is important to state again to remind us all. Thank you.

  2. Holly Postlewaite on Sun, 26th May 2024 3:28 pm

    3. I love how you share what is important to you and is always a reminder for me.

    Having had many losses of loved ones in my life, I have never grieved for my own children and can’t really imagine the agony.

    I am hesitant sometimes to share with someone that I may not know as to not sound trite. So it was nice to hear you share how much those thoughts and prayers were encouraging to you.

    I am grateful today for your heart, the many men and women who gave their life for mine and this moment I get to live.

  3. Stacy Neef on Sun, 26th May 2024 3:58 pm

    4. Thank you. Sometimes the hardest thing when we are hurting, is to actually accept the love and care of others. sometimes we feel like we are in our distress alone, when we really do have a loving community if we just let them in.

  4. robyn martin on Sun, 26th May 2024 4:00 pm

    5. beautiful and timely as always,
    thank you, Barb

  5. Stacy Weatherly on Sun, 26th May 2024 4:04 pm

    6. Hi Barb,
    Thank you for sharing your wisdom and insight for all of us to learn from.
    I believe you are an amazing person and I am so grateful for everything you have contributed to horse owners and especially the horse. Through your courses and coaching, I have met some of the best people on the planet. You played a huge role in that.
    Thank you and I’m so happy you and Tom got to experience a vacation! Since I never get to leave home because of caring for the animals, I just change my way of looking at each and every day. To be able to live another day is a vacation in its self.

  6. Leslie Gail Sapergia on Sun, 26th May 2024 4:26 pm

    7. Barb, thank you for each and every one of your emails. The truth is that I save most of them in a folder to reread (when needed) in the future. There is so much strength when people connect, and sometimes just a few words can brighten the darkest day.

    This past year has been a mix of the best possible (A grandson came back into my life.) and the worst possible (I lost an immediate family member to suicide). I always look forward to your messages. To know that somehow others have found the strength to move on and find good ahead is enough, some days, to carry on. Gail

  7. Karen on Sun, 26th May 2024 4:39 pm

    8. Ohhh Barb thank you for your insights for praying for others especially in times of sadness. I’ve often wondered if some of the thoughts and prayers were actually reaching those folks. However, God tells us our prayers do reach the skies! Enjoy that beautiful Sicilian country, most wonderful people and delicious foods! Check out the giant lemons and fresh fish at the outdoor markets. Had the privilege of going in 2017, one of my most favorite memories! Arrivederci

  8. Claire on Sun, 26th May 2024 5:08 pm

    9. Awwww-Barb-That has got to be so hard, and also brings up so much for anybody who has been through the loss of a child. I too-appreciate Holly’s comment that it is sometimes hard to know if our expressions of deep empathy are helpful or “just too much”. Thank-you for your kind words in letting us know that thoughts and prayers,phone calls, emails,texts,cards and physical help of any form-is-well…helpful. Even when the grieving person-understandably-is having difficulty either asking or responding with what they need or what would be appreciated. You are very special!

  9. Tassie Corbett on Sun, 26th May 2024 5:14 pm

    10. Such a timely post. Thursday my Dad had a stroke, and driving to the hospital I couldn’t imagine how it would be without him. I immediately put out prayer requests to everyone and our prayers were answered. He has recovered so well. Almost 100%. During that time at the hospital, a good friend’s Aunt passed away and also my Uncle who I am very close too. Yes, all the messages and calls and prayers have been wonderful. We felt so much love and compassion that I will never forget.
    I am so grateful for you all.

  10. Pam Riebock on Sun, 26th May 2024 5:43 pm

    11. Barbara
    Your thoughts are so true and are very meaningful. Most important to me is my faith in God. I do not know what I would have done without it during times that were so hard for me to accept. Yes family, friends and times spent with my horses during those times helped immensely, but my faith was the foundation for me to handle and cope with the losses endured.
    Thank you so much for your thoughts and inspiration. It was greatly appreciated by me.

    God Bless you and your family
    Pam Riebock

  11. Caroline Mackinnon on Sun, 26th May 2024 6:40 pm

    12. Beautiful, wise words filled with the compassion of someone who has walked those miles. Thank you, Barb.

  12. Marsha on Sun, 26th May 2024 8:35 pm

    13. Thank you for this. I’m traveling and it’s not going as planned but along the way I have met some wonderful people. I’m blessed just to be able to do this. I too have friends that have lost and yes the thoughts and prayers are so important. Thank you for all you share and for being you!

  13. Nancy Gallion on Sun, 26th May 2024 10:17 pm

    14. So beautifully written… Thank you for sharing. I wish I could have met Zane. I will continue to pray for my family and friends and agree that everyday counts. This was a beautiful post just like you ❤️

  14. deborah alexander on Mon, 27th May 2024 7:10 am

    15. Do not ride anymore but those wonderful guys & gals that graciously allowed me to rider them remain in my heart, and I so appreciate your posts. Thank you for this one especially.

  15. Marge Gunnar on Mon, 27th May 2024 7:33 am

    16. My Dear Barb:

    Your beautiful message comes at a very sad time for our BraveHearts family. We have just experienced the sudden death of one of our vary beloved volunteers and our hearts are aching. Our President/COO, Meggan, has already reached out to the family, and they have requested that they be able to hold her memorial service in our sweet little chapel. Of course, that will happen. Your words come at a very significant time for us at BraveHearts. As always, Barb, thank you for your wisdom and love.

  16. Kathryn Godsiff on Mon, 27th May 2024 7:56 am

    17. The power of a prayer and thought is one of the great mysteries. What a comfort to know we don’t have to solve this one! Thank you for your words of compassion and wisdom.

  17. Candis Molde on Mon, 27th May 2024 8:20 am

    18. Dear , sweet lady !!! You are a giving , caring woman and I’m so happy that I got to know you through your teachings .

    Bless your heart and shoulder on, helping others.
    Love you !!!!!

  18. Sylvia Brown on Tue, 28th May 2024 6:03 am

    19. Thank you so much for sharing! I love your caring spirit and that you have used your own experiences to help others. This was so beautifully written. I love reading your thoughts and words of wisdom. We are so blessed to have you in our lives.

  19. Rachel Stafford on Mon, 1st Jul 2024 10:55 pm

    20. First, thank you for your inspirational writings. And I’m so sorry for the loss of your son. That’s a loss that I won’t experience as I do not have children. I can’t even imagine.

    But I have horses. And they are my family. I lost my 32 year old Arabian, Abradu, in January. He had suffered from eye disease for several years and had one eye removed. He endured torturous treatments in the other eye, and this year he let me know that enough was enough. I let him go peacefully with my vet. I had my remaining horse, Ray, to help me through the grief. I raised him from a yearling and trained him. He was 19. On June 20, my sweet Ray died from a very sudden, awful colic. The vet came and he administered pain meds and some sedation, etc., and told me to watch him through the night and to call him first thing in the morning. As the night wore on, his condition deteriorated to the point that I knew that he probably would not make it. I called the vet to come back out, but before he could get there, my Ray dropped and died. It was the most devastating loss of my horse life. My point in saying all of this, is that we must cherish every moment with our dear horses, people, and other creatures in our lives. I saw me and Ray “growing old” together, but it wasn’t to be. I miss him and Abradu more than words can express. Cherish every moment.

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