This is Part 3 of my story regarding the various ways that helped me heal the pain from the loss of our 16 year-old son, Zane.

Welcome.

After the initial, primal stabs of emotion waned a bit, I did feel some peace. But then I asked myself the question, “What now?”

To my surprise, I did notice something that was positive in this early grieving time (thank goodness).

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We all have a story.

I wish I could sit with you and hear your story.

This is Part 2 of my story about ways I discovered that helped me heal the pain from the loss of our 16 year-old son, Zane to cancer.

Specific pain: I longed and longed to find a way to stay connected to Zane in the absence of being with him physically.

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I often hear this advice when people are grieving, “Just stay busy.”

I very respectfully disagree. Or shall I say, I did not choose that route for myself after our son passed on.

Here’s why.

One of the most valuable lessons I learned from my Personal Performance training, is to teach ourselves to adequately recover our energy.

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One of the things I enjoy is getting to know the folks in my online courses. Those relationships are treasures to me. Together we build an awesome community.

When I recently asked participants about their experiences over the past year, in one of the programs a woman made a comment about her bout with loss in 2017.

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I remember feeling so fearful that people would soon forget our son, Zane after he passed on to his heavenly life. The thought of that was gut stabbing.

Recently I saw this quote, and wanted to share it with you.

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I really love the quote below. Somehow for me, it rings true.

And … like many of the gifts that come into our lives, it was shared with me through a close friend.

Grief really is love with no place to go … except for those of us who love horses.

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It’s been a tough few weeks. Two different families I know quite well, lost a son. Another family lost a 9 year old daughter. A neighbor is nearing the end of his life in hospice.

As you well know, as we comfort others in their grief, we often revisit our own grief.

The good news is that hopefully we are more compassionate than ever because of our own experiences. Of course, it is never easy, but we understand the power of just being by someone’s side.

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We all have our core beliefs. And thank goodness I believe we don’t all need to share the same beliefs! With that being said, one of my beliefs is that even though I don’t understand why people are taken from us either in what seems to be “too soon,” or in a way that seems unfortunate … or in just the fact that they “have to go” … I believe their work here is over. But those of us who remain still have important work to do.

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I send you the warm thoughts and soft support during this holiday season.

I bet that you, like me, find certain moments to be especially challenging when the unforeseen wash of sadness envelops you. I think we all share that.

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The morning after Zane made his transition to a heavenly life, I got in my car and turned on the radio. Immediately the song “Holes In the Floor of Heaven” came on. (Perhaps if you have not listened to this song in a long time, you are meant to hear it now.)

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This past Sunday morning on 9/11 I was sitting on our deck, drinking coffee and appreciating the softness of an approaching Fall-like breeze. I reflected on that horrific day for America. I thought about the victims. I extended comfort in my heart to the family and friends of those lost. I felt for the all Americans. I sent a prayer up for everyone.

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Recently I was in a gorgeous spot in Montana. I was rendezvousing with friends and teaching, so it was a combination of work and play.

One of the new people I met asked if I would have breakfast with her. The purpose was to get to know each other better and perhaps explore doing some kind of event in the future regarding women, horses, mental skills training and horsemanship.

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