Who you are becoming

I want to share a research-based truth with you that is one of my favorites… and one that I was reminded of this week.

It’s one of those ideas we all know, but it’s always great to be reminded.


I want to share a research-based truth with you that is one of my favorites… and one that I was reminded of this week.

The concept is that when we compete… or do anything, really… that’s measured by external scorecards alone… if we put all of our value in results seen on the outside… we will ultimately feel a bit empty.

That’s because, when that event, or that result is over, it’s over.

With results-only values, if we want to feel joy again, we have to go do it again to ‘prove’ to the world… and ourselves… that it wasn’t a fluke… that we really were ‘good’ at riding… and we still are… because, “See, we can do it again.”

It’s insatiable.

Research shows that when we make personal growth a priority and live by our values, we perform better… and… nourish our joy.

As riders, when we make what we do with our horses, not only about becoming a better rider, but also about becoming a better person… that’s when we feel authentic and real satisfaction that lasts a lifetime.

We’re all on our own journeys… with our own physical capabilities… with our own horses… and with our own bank accounts.

What matters is that we stay true to ourselves, cognizant of our blessings… and keep growing as people.

This past week, a dear friend of mine from the cutting world, Sam Shepard, went on to a heavenly life.

He was an incredible rider and showman. He won lots of championships.

But beyond the accolades, he was an incredible man. He was gentle, kind, and authentic. When Sam spoke to you, he listened. When he met someone, he never forgot them. People were more important to Sam than results in the arena. He was a wonderful husband and a terrific father. Sam was amazing.

I always wonder at how when a dear one passes on… that we are reminded once again about what’s important. As I reflect on the qualities of the person, I say to myself, “Remember Barb, it’s about who you are and who you are becoming that really matters.”

Sam reminded me of that this week in his gentle way. And his family is beautiful.

Our horses give us incredible gifts to keep growing in our discipline of choice… and as people.

I appreciate the horses and I appreciate you. And remember… it’s not the outer scorecard… it’s the inner scorecard… and who you are becoming because of all you do with your horse.

Scroll down and leave a comment for me. I always love to hear from you.

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26 Comments on Who you are becoming

  1. Cass Antle HUGE FAN on Sun, 20th Sep 2020 1:11 pm
  2. Absolutely love your wisdom -fact based aswell as life based. Hugs to you, a moment from turning out the horses this morning -our neighbors warming up in the choir next door.

  3. Kimberly Moody on Sun, 20th Sep 2020 1:40 pm
  4. Thank you for this beautiful reminder. I’m sorry for your lose and for the family’s. I will keep you all in my prayers.

  5. Cindy Roberts on Sun, 20th Sep 2020 1:44 pm
  6. This touched me deeply. As an instructor, I always try to be encouraging and honest.
    I love watching and listening to you. You are a reminder of the goodness in people.
    Thank you.

  7. Vanessa Oberg on Sun, 20th Sep 2020 2:23 pm
  8. Thank you for sharing Barb. As a woman that does not really desire to show I sometimes feel less than other riders who do show. I appreciate your words more than you know that let me know I am on the right path for myself and my horse! 🦄What’s really important is that I have a horse that I love and trust with all my heart and soul♥️

  9. Jeanette on Sun, 20th Sep 2020 3:44 pm
  10. I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend.Thanks for that reminder. It is so very true.

  11. Carol MacGregor on Sun, 20th Sep 2020 3:45 pm
  12. Hi Barb, I’m sorry for your loss of Sam Sheppard and for his family, and all those who knew him in the cutting world. What an amazing legacy he has left for you and others to speak of him so highly–both in his horse discipline, and even more importantly as a husband, father, friend to many. I truly enjoy your perspective on life in general, and especially the value that our horses bring to us, each in an individual way, perfect for each person. Thank you!

  13. Melinda on Sun, 20th Sep 2020 4:45 pm
  14. Such a wonderful message. Thank you! Reminders like this are so important in our world now. And . . . the horses thank you!

  15. Mary on Sun, 20th Sep 2020 5:06 pm
  16. Sam was a great reminder that you can be successful in your chosen field AND be a great person. Only got to meet him a couple of times, loved to watch him cut.

  17. Lynda Savenkoff on Sun, 20th Sep 2020 6:01 pm
  18. Such a heart felt reminder of what’s really important in life! 💞

  19. Robin Graves on Sun, 20th Sep 2020 6:10 pm
  20. years ago I always wondered about the inevitable “empty feeling”, especially after a particularly successful outing. confusing and discouraging…Always thought something must be wrong with me…just wrong emphasis I see now. That helps

  21. Tami Peters on Sun, 20th Sep 2020 6:48 pm
  22. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge, thoughts and cares. Your videos have been so helpful to me. Just today we had a young energetic puppy come barking at us I felt my horse react and I grounded myself, took a deep breath held my eyes up and had the thought we will just ride forward it felt great to have my horse take a breath with me and head on down the road like totally relaxed we never thought about the puppy again. I’m thankful for your sharing as I try to always be working on myself if I was to go today would I have made your day better while being in it.
    Thank you again, your videos do help build my confidence and remind me of what I do know deep inside we just loose that when our confidence gets shaken.

  23. Carol on Sun, 20th Sep 2020 8:51 pm
  24. That is so true and lovely. If there’s a fault in my horse, it’s likely to be connected to my own
    faults. Patience and understanding are essential to connecting with my mare.

  25. Elaine Bohlin on Sun, 20th Sep 2020 11:11 pm
  26. Barb,

    Praying for God’s love to comfort you in the loss of your friend.

  27. Christine Reid on Mon, 21st Sep 2020 3:45 am
  28. Loved this message. Thank you and take care.

  29. Brenda Mastaler on Mon, 21st Sep 2020 7:01 am
  30. Thank you once again for this inspiring message. Your guidance, instruction, and explanations resonate with me. It is indeed refreshing. Your approach is straightforward and down to earth.

  31. Jolein A Harro on Mon, 21st Sep 2020 7:21 am
  32. Dear Barbara,

    One of our special barn gals introduced me to you. I so enjoyed your video on the inner score-card vs. the outer score card. It is wonderful to meet you on-line, and you remind me of my favorite veterinarian and accomplished horse woman Dr. Barbara Page. I am looking forward to following your posts on-line and attending a clinic! Lots of Aloha from Colorado!

  33. Andrea on Mon, 21st Sep 2020 7:39 am
  34. Wow! We participate in several competitive disciplines (competitive trail riding and obstacle challenges). In other competitive aspects of my life , I was often able to focus on the fundamentals and know that the rest will follow. But when adding an equine partner into the mix, the concept and outcome seems to have even more value! Ironically I lost sight of focusing on our inner scorecard while we rode competitively on trail for three days in a row this weekend. So this message is perfectly timed for us! Thank you Barb!!

  35. Ulrike Minelga on Mon, 21st Sep 2020 8:41 am
  36. Thank you, Barb, for this important message. Words to live by…
    Have a wonderful time sharing your wisdom at the upcoming clinics.
    Hopefully we get to meet again at my favorite horse place: C Lazy U.

  37. Maria on Mon, 21st Sep 2020 11:30 am
  38. A beautiful message….Amen.🙏🏼

  39. Lynn Sava on Mon, 21st Sep 2020 12:22 pm
  40. So sorry for the loss of your friend. This is a great reminder of how fragile life can be and to treat everyone with grace and dignity.

  41. Patti Tautenhan on Mon, 21st Sep 2020 3:19 pm
  42. I am sorry about the loss of your friend. Thank you for using his passing as a reminder that we are evolving, if we’re paying attention, and horses are great for helping us in our journey. Also, I want to thank you for putting your course out there. I am looking forward to completing it. You are very generous and I hope all the goodness you are putting out there comes back to you.

  43. Claire and Feather! on Mon, 21st Sep 2020 6:06 pm
  44. Oh Barb-and Sam’s many friends and family-I’m so sorry for yet another loss-knowing it is the way of the world sometimes-but never gets any easier.
    Just returned from a Gaited horse clinic with Ivy Schexnayder-and had such a wonderful time-so full of blessings-to find this heartfelt message from you-knowing your heart is broken while I was away.
    I am truly holding your wonderful spirit and pondering your thoughts. I never knew the man-but if you had such high accolades for him-the world will miss him terribly.
    hugs in any amount you need and then some

  45. Barbra Schulte on Mon, 21st Sep 2020 7:14 pm
  46. Thank you all. With love, Barb

  47. Nancy Burroughs on Mon, 21st Sep 2020 9:21 pm
  48. Barb this was so heart felt. What an awesome goal to focus on. Love you and your beautiful heart

  49. Pam on Sun, 27th Sep 2020 5:10 pm
  50. Having lost both my parents in the last couple of years, my heart feels your loss. It has been hard for me losing the two rocks in my world and I have struggled. Thank you for giving me joy and a focus again. You are a God send to me just when I needed it mist. Thank you 😇

  51. Melanie on Mon, 23rd Nov 2020 7:44 pm
  52. I am little late on watching, but thank you. I needed these words tonight. the loss of a good friend is never easy. working hard to follow I his footsteps is an honor.

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