The Tale of Two Stories

We are always talking to ourselves. Sometimes it can be predictable and scripted, like during a specific ride with our horse, but most of the time, it’s just whatever we think as we go through our day.

Sometimes that ‘throughout the day’ voice is untamed and unkind and gives us messages that don’t help us. In fact, they discourage us.

Taming the wild all-day voice is what this video is all about.


Those of you who have known me for a long time may be familiar with a strategy to keep focused when you’re in the arena called ‘scripting.’

The way it works is that you write a script for when you show so that you fill your mind with what you want to happen by pretending like your favorite coach (or special angel) is sitting on your shoulder whispering in your ear exactly what you need to hear to keep you on track throughout your ride.

It works beautifully. You write it. You practice it with lots of feeling in the pieces of your runs, like the chunks’ energy and transitions.

You create a flow in the present moment. In your script, include messages to help you through potential errors and cheer you on.

It feels like magic because it works so well.

But outside of such a predictable environment, we’re also talking to ourselves constantly. And I’m using the ‘outside the arena’ analogy, like being in the pasture.

That consistent Inner Voice yaks all the time and is like a slow and constant IV drip into our brains.

However, there are two big problems with that nonstop IV.

Your brain believes those thoughts – for better or worse.

Those pop-up thoughts don’t always serve you; sometimes, they lie about what’s possible. Thoughts like:

  • You’ve been trying for years and still can’t get it.
  • You’re getting too old for this.
  • Your seat is horrible, and that’s just how it is.
  • My friends are advancing and doing well, but I’m not.
  • You don’t look good on a horse.

We say these things to ourselves (or similar versions), although we would never say them to someone we care about – or even someone we are not that close with! They’re harsh, unkind – and again, untrue.

And even if we want to change them because we know that ‘mentally’ they’re not ‘good,’ we don’t know how to do anything about it.

The process for changing this is a simple one, although it takes energy to do it:

  • We tune into our hearts to discover what is true for us – what we love, value, believe, want in our riding life, etc. I call that coming back home.
  • Then, we nourish our hearts and minds with those things because they are true.
  • We notice when we’re off.
  • Then we come back home to our hearts.
  • We find the courage to take the next step – and keep rising.

Again, those steps are simple, but they are a wonderful experience.

We’re exploring that in our free Confidence Within Workshop this week. I hope you’ll join us. The sessions are live, but there are recordings so you can catch up quickly!

There’s a link just below this video to check it out. Leave a comment for me.

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4 Comments on The Tale of Two Stories

  1. Kelly Hannah Watts on Sun, 15th Jan 2023 9:04 pm
  2. I’m looking forward to joining your workshop…I desperately need to learn how to be confident with my self and my abilities with my horse!

  3. Christine Miller on Mon, 16th Jan 2023 2:11 am
  4. I’m reading a very helpful book by kirsten neff about self compassion & so this chimes very much with that. Thank you

  5. Carmela Martell on Mon, 16th Jan 2023 7:27 am
  6. Love it when Nic is fresh – he’s adorable, and looks great in his winter coat! 🙂

  7. Deeda Randle on Thu, 19th Jan 2023 4:22 pm
  8. Thank you for your work on the Confidence Within. I asked the riding team members what they wanted to work on in their riding this semester today. On girl said, “It’s a little things but I want to have confidence when I am showing that I am on the correct lead. I know in practice every time but when I show I cannot tell because I am nervous.” I instantly thought of you and how to help her apply the work I have learned from you. Thank You!!

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