How fast do you bounce back?

. .


Hi, it’s Barb.

I’ve been doing a podcast series over the past week, so I’m in the podcast groove, plus it’s freezing outside!

I’m going to talk to you about a topic that I don’t think I’ve ever talked about it in this way.

It’s about how you bounce back after things go south.

Now the podcast series is about showing, so I’m going to talk about bouncing back in that way, but again, what I’m about to share with you apply to all kinds of riding and situations.

First, I have a story to tell you about a dear friend who rode with me for many years. She had been a nun with the name of Sister Fabian. I called her ‘Fabe’ as a nickname!

When she didn’t do well, she would swear like a sailor. I’m talking about swearing like a sailor! She would ‘get over it’ a couple of days later.

I’ll call her response to not doing well the open and no-holes barred ‘let ‘er rip response.’

Then there’s the quiet sulk response. You don’t want to go around those folks for a while. They are quiet and have a long face!

Then there’s the blame response. That’s actually a very disempowering response, but that’s another topic for another day.

Then there’s the quiet ‘I don’t want to impose on anyone else’ response. This rider is quiet and polite but very disappointed.

Which one are you? Or maybe you have your own style.

It truly doesn’t matter what your kind of response is (except blame) but there is something that does matter: how fast you bounce back.

That’s because positive emotions are what’s necessary to getting back to your highest level of performance. The longer you stay in a ‘negative’ state, the longer you postpone calling up a state of calmness and focus, you need to perform well.

That doesn’t mean you don’t feel disappointed, of course not!

But you can learn a new way to bounce back quicker and use your results to improve.

One fun way is to assign a certain amount of time to how long you’ll allow yourself to feel bad. It’s a game, but games are always practical ways to make changes that last.

When you make a little mistake, you might assign a half-hour to yourself.
A little bigger boo-boo would get a couple of hours.
A huge one might get six hours.

You get the picture.

The idea is to give yourself some space. Do your best to bounce back to a positive state ASAP and then figure out the next steps of improvement for:

  • You
  • Your horse
  • The two of you together

You can develop a simple next-step plan of action for practice and your next rides.

This is the topic of the final podcast tomorrow, Monday, February 15th. This is the fourth one in a four-part podcast series. The series is available right now.

There are many facets for showing and riding. When you understand them better it can make all the difference.

It’s just like this little tidbit on how quickly you feel good again after errors matters. It impacts how efficient you will be in getting back to your best riding again.

The podcasts there for you now are:

  • How to grow a belief in yourself
  • Preparing and Polishing
  • Get Your Shine on for Show Day

The fourth and final podcast will be about how to do a productive review of your ride that empowers you.

There’s also going to be a deep-dive webinar coaching series this week with worksheets and tip sheets. You’ll be able to ask questions about you and your horse.

But again, no matter if you show or not, please enjoy the podcasts. They are yours to keep.

So, how about you?

What do you do when you want the arena floor to open up because things went south? What’s your style of feeling bad (-:? And what’s your recovery time?

Let me know. Leave a comment.

Print This Post Print This Post    Email This Post Email This Post   


11 Comments on Podcast:
How fast do you bounce back?

  1. Jeanne reyher on Sun, 14th Feb 2021 3:11 pm
  2. Hello Barb
    Thank you so much! I like your tip to set a max time to growl before shaking it out and moving on. Happy valentine’s day❤

  3. Joanne Milton on Sun, 14th Feb 2021 4:03 pm
  4. Hi Barb! I’m probably one of the weirdest people out there…I have really never felt bad when I come out of the ring! I’ve always had the attitude, going into the ring, that I’m the luckiest person on God’s Green Earth, just to get to go show! My horse & I get to go out there and PLAY! (Of course, I’ve never been in a position where winning or losing means whether or not I or my horse gets to eat next week!) And if I screw up in the ring, I’ve always been able to laugh it off & say “Next Time”!

  5. Lisa on Sun, 14th Feb 2021 4:07 pm
  6. Great podcast! When things go south I grumble pretty hard at myself for probably an hour. Then I start dissecting everything from start to finish coming up with ways to prevent what I did in the future. The worst problem I have is not letting go of the situation and pulling it into my next ride. I really have to focus on the positive, what I want in my next ride and staying out of my funk. Thanks!

  7. De Leigh on Sun, 14th Feb 2021 4:20 pm
  8. Hi Barb, when i first started a coach gave me 15 minutes to whine then it had to be put away. I actually try that most of time.

  9. Lynda Savenkoff on Sun, 14th Feb 2021 4:34 pm
  10. Hey Barb! Happy Valentine’s Day !💘
    It’s cold here too!! -43C this morning!!
    The amount of time I chastise myself depends on the severity of the error. For example, there’s one error that cost me a National Championship & I still have trouble letting it go.
    Anyway, my reaction to errors is not like your friend’s!! Lol!😂 I usually seek some place where I can be myself.

  11. Wendy Klassen on Sun, 14th Feb 2021 5:34 pm
  12. Hi Barb how’s it going well we are still in a very much of a cold spell can’t hardly wait till winter is over. Yes when my riding or barrel run his south it’s hard I head back to trailer at times and get a bit hard on my self then remind myself I am here a survivor and on my horse and going forward but there are times I want more it can be hard at times but next outing just happy to be there regardless of the outcome😊

  13. Star on Sun, 14th Feb 2021 6:45 pm
  14. Thank you Barb,
    Happy Valentine’s Day.
    I think it depends on how important I made it.
    If it’s a play day or half a point from a win. In a class I work for really hard.
    At some point you just have to let it go. An it feels better to let it go than to hold on.
    I use to tell my wrestlers. It’s all about the recovery time in your mind. It’s over leave it on the mat. If you dont you will be wrestling 2 , your opponent an the last match. How you fair next is all about letting go.
    So decide how much time you give it an let it be. Next time take 5 minutes off. An keep chipping at it. We all want to win. We all dont want to make a mistake. But no one tells the cow that. Lol.

  15. Catherine Parke on Sun, 14th Feb 2021 7:35 pm
  16. Hi Barb, I always blame myself,not my horses. After a disappointing class,I scold myself,think about my mistake and how to correct it. I find myself more determined in the next class. Been showing for a very long time,you have to analyze your mistakes and move on. I love both my horses,they are very forgiving and try really hard.

  17. Dawn on Mon, 15th Feb 2021 8:46 am
  18. There is a Latin expression that goes like this: Culpa equestribus non equis. Roughly translated means “It’s the fault of the rider, never the horse.” LOL. I believe this 90% of the time in my case. I’m a retired teacher and bought my paint horse 4 years ago and I’ve been showing English and western pleasure and trail for 3 years. I’ve ridden most of my life but I rode hunt seat until 5years ago when I switched to western. I feel very bad when I come out of the ring after an error and tend to sulk and then bring it into my next ride—gotta work on this one for sure! LOVE this podcast!

  19. Cindy Newell on Mon, 15th Feb 2021 10:46 am
  20. I have done all of these things when I had a bad run and I didn’t feel good about myself when I reacted badly. But I have found that the reaction that feels best is when I do just what you said–later I think about why we did what we did and how I can make it better.

  21. Pam Smith on Wed, 17th Feb 2021 4:30 pm
  22. Hiccups-I call them hiccups.. Once I’m over my hissy fit I watch my run and check the judges sheet. I find it’s usually my fault. I didn’t push my cow side leg against my horse to keep her straight or I didn’t sit my stop solid enough for my horse to collect, rock back and turn properly. I can get stuck and not be my horse’s best partner. I do all that stuff at home so I beat myself up pretty good for not doing it in the show pen. I have to be MORE conscious of my show self. I give myself time to be upset, usually until the next morning when I can start working on my plan to fix it before the next show. Due to covid and my compromised immune system I did not show at all last year. So I’m looking forward to getting back on track and upping my game for this year.

Tell me what you're thinking...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!

This blog is kept spam free by WP-SpamFree.