Letting Go of the Outcome

This past week was a doozie! A good doozie in many ways – and a nightmare in others.

I know from years of mental and life skills training and experience that focusing on the outcome is never good. But I was outcome-challenged last week!

In this week’s Mini-Podcast, I share my experiences and how I navigated them.

. .

AUDIO TRANSCRIPT:

Hey, it’s Barb. It’s been an interesting week.

You know how when you put a lot of effort into a project and some things fall apart?

This past week was like that for me.

So, I had to do some work on myself.

Something that really helped me was to not focus on the outcome. That’s because that causes distraction from the job at hand and me spending unproductive energy.

So, here what I did. I kept reminding myself about a couple things.

One is that the outcome will always take care of itself. I have no control of the outcome.

Secondly, I would invest energy into everything I could to solve the challenges – and – to generate positive energy within myself and towards my efforts.

Next, and while this might sound esoteric, I worked to stay focused on why I do what I do. What is my joy?

I talked to myself about believing in myself and my journey of learning, and to trust that.

So, I had a big dose of self-work this week, and I must say, it feels good to be on the other side of it.

Let go of the outcome; stay with the process; find the good; and do what you can do.

Have a great week. I’ll see you next week. Leave a comment for me. Bye-bye.

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Comments

13 Comments on Letting Go of the Outcome

  1. Martha M Vogelsang on Sun, 30th Jul 2023 6:58 pm
  2. Great advice!

  3. Robin Nichols on Sun, 30th Jul 2023 7:33 pm
  4. So important as I navigate Gracie’s recovery….

  5. Rene Srogus on Sun, 30th Jul 2023 7:53 pm
  6. How applicable to my performance dog. She is an Australian Cattle Dog with issues. I have focused on the training and showing processes and all of the experiences my dog and I need to practice. We met with tremendous success and I was overwhelmed and surprised. Then the baggage caught up with us and unpleasant challenges happened. I have been unable to make progress, unsuccessful practices, and became afraid to try. This podcast struck home! Reminding and encouraging me to return to the practice of providing positive experiences and let go of the outcome that confused my original goals – to have fun and be a partner with my dog. My horse and I hang out, do mild riding and have fun together. But I never learned how to cut on her and probably won’t for many reasons. The message hit home and is helpful. I appreciate the sharing of the message.

  7. Linda vandenbosch on Sun, 30th Jul 2023 8:16 pm
  8. How much this thought process resonates with me.. went to a major show with high hopes.. my mare was going sooo well. We had success prior and had been working on our little shortcomings and everything was progressing on track. We were at one! We were on the same page and I was excited.. got to the show and checked in found our stable and prepared it for my girl. Later took her out for a look around , a lunge and a pick of grass, before riding in the arena warm up pen. That was the plan .. BUT.. my mare changed her mind .. as I led her down the track to the exercise area she was jumpy hesitant and anxious.. ok .. I thought it’s all new and I was up a bit too.. so lets explore the surrounds and get familiar with it.. NAH that was not going to happen .. everything was going to attack her and I was not going to change her mindset! Ok.. a good lunge to get her a bit over it and get breathing .. nope not the key.. ah well up early next morning and we’ll be right.. NOPE! Now I was upset disappointed etc etc.. we had a terrible showing and I felt like I’d let her down or was hopeless.. so my anxiety and worry grew large.. it has taken me weeks to just accept that it wasn’t our time .. we had a shift in residences so mare didn’t get worked for 3 weeks.. but when I did get to ride she was amiable and we got our connection back👏 I’m still at loss as to that outcome and how I could or can put something in place that we can overcome such anxiety for next time.. but it was definetly out of my control..

  9. Elaine Bohlin on Mon, 31st Jul 2023 10:26 am
  10. Barb, Sorry you had such a challenging time but your willingness to share it brought a lot of comfort to many of us I’m sure. July has been a big exercise in challenges for me. All kinds of computer expenses I didn’t expect or plan to have, although art some level I knew the day was coming. Since I am not that tech savvy, it was (and continues) to be a learning curve but on the positive side, I have better equipment and I am growing my knowledge. I’ve been frustrted

  11. Elaine Bohlin on Mon, 31st Jul 2023 10:44 am
  12. Barb, Sorry you had such a challenging time but your willingness to share it brought a lot of comfort to many of us I’m sure. July has been a big exercise in challenges for me. All kinds of computer expenses I didn’t expect or plan to have, although art some level I knew the day was coming. Since I am not that tech savvy, it was (and continues) to be a learning curve but on the positive side, I have better equipment and I am growing my knowledge.

    I’ve been frustrated in my equestrian endeavors because it seems no matter how I plan to be out early ahead of the heat, something always gets in the way and I miss my chance to ride although I have used that time to connect with my horse in other ways and I enjoy just ‘hanging; with him and keeping him cool and comfy.

    Then there’s been the challenge of the City repaving my neighborhood, so pretty much it is impossible to come and go during the day and thanks to having to park in a less protected location last week in order to be able to come and go the day they repaved my cul de sac, I will now be replacing my windshield due to a huge crack. But again on the positive side, the new water and sewer lines and repaved streets will be nice and at least I am getting something for my tax dollars! Just getting tiring though because some type of construction disruption has been going on here since last October!

    I am trying to look at it as an opportunity to study my “Well Connected” and “In The Flow” materials and get to administrative home office and house things I’ve procrastinated about doing.

    The non-horse stuff is not as fun as spending time with my horse or even just studying about him, but I am finding joy in getting those dull non-horse tasks done so I can enjoy my horse more and be free of that nagging feeling of stuff I keep putting off.

    Joy in the small mundane things can bring a lot of satisfaction and happiness in its own way.

  13. DeAnna Leigh on Mon, 31st Jul 2023 1:36 pm
  14. Thank you for sharing your week. You always put the perspective into situations.
    De Leigh

  15. Shawn Smith on Mon, 31st Jul 2023 6:54 pm
  16. Thank you for sharing

  17. Kim Nunes on Tue, 1st Aug 2023 7:46 am
  18. Thanks Barb for the insightful message. I just finished a 3 week VRH showing adventure. We had many successful adventures with a mix of Oops 😬 here and there. You are spot on with your thoughts you shared. I seem to be enjoying the journey more and more without worry.. Maybe because of my age and gratitude for the opportunity to be able to compete with my horse. Our bond seems to be getting stronger in our adventures which is so rewarding.

  19. Candis Molde on Tue, 1st Aug 2023 8:36 am
  20. This was a wonderful share !! Being aware that you were having thoughts that weren’t helping you , and switching to one’s that would serve you . I loved the advice Re don’t focus on the outcome .
    Thanks for sharing your thoughts .

  21. Judith Becker on Wed, 2nd Aug 2023 3:14 am
  22. Great message – hit home with me to keep experiencing my journey and enjoy and embrace the good and not so good that comes – I’m learning and will continue to get better and better!

  23. Holly Postlewaite on Wed, 2nd Aug 2023 7:10 am
  24. Thank you Barb, I found the space to sit and listen, outside on my back porch.

    I too have a lot of moving parts going on, and this was a good reminder that if I can just stay on the journey, trust in myself to do what needs to be done, understand the person I’m working with I cannot control, in the outcome will be what it will be.

    I also noticed your correction on the word breaking a horse and you changed it to training.

    It never dawned on me that word, breaking, is what I feel like was done to the horse decades ago, and I’m grateful for the new ways of training, and not breaking down the spirit of the horse.

  25. Holly Postlewaite on Wed, 2nd Aug 2023 7:10 am
  26. Thank you Barb, I found the space to sit and listen, outside on my back porch.

    I too have a lot of moving parts going on, and this was a good reminder that if I can just stay on the journey, trust in myself to do what needs to be done, understand the person I’m working with I cannot control, in the outcome will be what it will be.

    I also noticed your correction on the word breaking a horse and you changed it to training.

    It never dawned on me that word, breaking, is what I feel like was done to the horse decades ago, and I’m grateful for the new ways of training, and not breaking down the spirit of the horse.

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