- Personal Performance Coach for all riders | Cutting Horse Trainer and Educator | Author, Speaker, Clinician - https://barbraschulte.com -


The morning after Zane made his transition to a heavenly life, I got in my car and turned on the radio. Immediately the song “Holes In the Floor of Heaven” [1] came on. (Perhaps if you have not listened to this song in a long time, you are meant to hear it now.)

At that moment, I knew Zane was letting me know he was fine and in a wonderful place. I believe that Zane somehow, some way sent that song to me to help soothe my aching heart. And it did.

Since that day I continue to experience another little “wink” experience from Zane, the number 44.

You see, Zane signed his emails and notes Z44. Forty-four was his jersey number. My husband and I decided to make Z44 the brand on our personal horses. Then I started seeing 44s everywhere … and I still do.

Coincidence? Maybe. But I don’t think my waking up to 2:44 on the clock in the middle of the night, or seeing 44s on license plates most days are all coincidences.

What matters to me is my experience of an ongoing connection … a new relationship with my sweet boy where love abounds. I know I will see Zane again. And I know he is often with me. For now, these winks, these moments, are such a meaningful part of my healing.

Do you feel your loved one? How do you experience it?

It doesn’t have to be a tangible “sign.” It can be as simple as a thought of how much you love the one who is no longer here. In that moment there is a sweet connection. As we embrace this “new” relationship, I believe our healing is enhanced.