I often hear this advice when people are grieving, “Just stay busy.”
I very respectfully disagree. Or shall I say, I did not choose that route for myself after our son passed on.
Here’s why.
One of the most valuable lessons I learned from my Personal Performance training, is to teach ourselves to adequately recover our energy.
We always think of “training” as expending energy (like time in the saddle, or physical exercise). Of course, these things are important … but equally important is resting after we go for it. Resting is when you grow.
If we go, go, go and do not rest, we get weaker, not stronger.
Without rest you burn out.
And the rest needs to be enough to fully regain the energy that was expended initially.
I also learned in my Personal Performance training that everything that applies to our bodies also applies to our emotions.
Because I had been trained in these concepts, I knew that when Zane passed on, I had to rest. My emotional energy expenditure was off the charts.
So, I did. And that’s not really like me, normally.
But I knew from my training that I had experienced a huge emotional trauma, as we all do when we grieve. I had to be gentle with myself. I had to give myself time to begin to heal my emotions.
For me, this was one of the most valuable things I did for myself to begin my healing journey.
I also rested with my horses. I would go to the barn and just smell them; put my face in their necks; touch their soft noses; or saddle up and just walk. All of these things gave me peace … and some rest.
If you are grieving, I urge you to be kind to yourself and take the time you need to rest to support your healing journey … if even in moments. You will grow stronger, not weaker.
Peace, comfort and rest …